Introducing your softball playing neighborhood crime watch block captain....

This week has been one of new titles for the Russell family!

New (or nerd) Title #1:
I recently discovered that someone that I have known since elementary school lives about five houses down from Coby and I. How I did not figure this out before, I do not know, especially since this girl and I are both out walking for exercise around the neighborhood on a frequent basis.
Anyhow, she mentioned that her block, as well as mine, is in need of a Block Captain for the Briarwood Neighborhood Crime Watch Program and that I should think about signing up.

With no further ado, I introduce you to Molly and Coby Russell, 5000 and 5100 Hanover Avenue Block Captains Extraordinaire!

My current experience with our neighborhood crime watch program is this…I am totally wigged out by the current off duty Chester – the – Molester police officer that BNCWP has hired with the residents’ money to patrol our neighborhood, (looking for women I tell you, not robbers), all day long.
I am scared of him to the point that I have looked to see if he is a registered sex offender even though I know that he could not be employed by the City of Dallas Police Department if he is, (registered that is, not just a sex offender but a registered one), and I have also shot him a plethora of mean looks and thrown my hands up in the air in a “what are you looking at” gesture to him on one, oh maybe two, occasions.
He seriously is gross and has a severe “staring at the bum problem”, and I think that my grandmother could take more action against a person that is putting our neighborhood in danger than he could.

So, block captain you say?!? SURE!
Molly-the-Block-Captain’s first goal: Annoy all other block captains so much about how scary greasy off duty police officer that patrols looking for women is that they find a new one.
Molly-the-Block-Captain’s second goal: Make the individuals that live on her block aware that our block has one of the lowest participation percentages of the entire neighborhood…Unacceptable! We’ll fix that.

I’ll update you with a progress report soon.

New (or nerd) Title #2:

Softball Player.
Ooooh boy.

Some friends of ours have created a couple’s softball league and invited us to be a part of it. Actually, I am fairly confident that they really just wanted to invite Coby because of his history with baseball but they knew that if they had all couples and did not invite me it may hurt my feelings a little. They most likely asked us to join the league aware of the fact that Coby is good enough to cancel out and exceed the negative impact that my less-than-athletic self would contribute.

Anyhow, in light of the fact that I have not held a bat since 5th grade P.E., and that is not a joke, Coby decided to take me to a park near our home last night and start with the basics…

Lesson 1 for Molly-the-Softball-Player: How to catch a ball.

Things were going quite well. Coby had even said “nice work, Molly” a few times. Then he decided that we should work on catching pop flies.
Within one minute of beginning this portion of our lesson, I caught a ball with my mouth. Not my glove, my mouth.
A few minutes later, while sporting the new version of my old lip, my right shin came in handy and caught a ball as well, rendering me fully paralyzed for at least 30 seconds. Had I been able to continue with my paralysis I would have, but Coby made me laugh and admit that indeed I was not going to die.

Lesson 2 for Molly-the-Softball-Player will be tomorrow, and I purchased a pink batting glove today in preparation. I am also thinking about buying shin guards, a face mask, a bullet proof vest, a fanny-pack first aid kit and some other supplies prior to our first game.

Speaking of, our first game is Thursday, October 9th, so please keep me in your prayers…we have family pictures two days after that.


Love,
Molly
(The Neighborhood Crime Watch Block Captain and Softball Player Extraordinaire)